Month: October 2015

The Obession of Avoiding Stupidity

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We all like to think we know something. Every person has knowledge, from the sophisticated intellectual with a large vocabulary to the redneck who touts their common sense, and for most this can give a smug sense of security. However, the more I study science and history the more I get the feeling that we all probably know far less than we think we know. Perhaps knowing to be humble in what you know is more important than having the dictionary memorized? Perhaps both redneck and professor have knowledge that the other would benefit to know?

Anyhow, here’s a blog by a smart young woman worthy of being read….

The Girl in the Red Rubber Boots

Do you remember how it feels when they find out that you’re actually stupid?

I do.

I remember the day they discovered that I didn’t know where Honolulu was. When they found out that I didn’t know the freezing temperature of water. When they snickered in the corner because I thought that a bacon cheeseburger just had bacon on it for the meat, and no hamburger.

Clear memories, etched deep into my brain, because that’s what I was insecure about as a teen. I wasn’t insecure about my looks or my popularity or all those other things girls in books were insecure about, but I was insecure about my intellect. I even wrote myself a list of “Rules for Learning Things Without Looking Stupid.”

(Tip #1: If you don’t know something, don’t ask. Look it up on Google later. Tip #2: If you don’t get the joke, pretend you just…

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Faith is a persistent…

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Watch this video: Ormie the pig

I think most of us can identify with the visible struggle of the little pig persistently working hard to find a solution to an out of reach cookie jar. 

Failure to achieve a goal is frustrating and with every successive failure it takes more strength to pick one’s self back up off the floor and more courage to keep in the fight.  We all have days where things just do not go our way and that’s just life. 

But, I don’t care who you are, we all have our upper limit and a point where we break.  If you have never reached that point then you probably have never be fully tested.  Those who have struggled to succeed aren’t always the weaker animal and sometimes those most visibly successful are weak. 

There’s a quote a friend shared with me that may only be fully understood those who have battled long and hard against an invisible (but very real) enemy.  They, like the little pig, have brushed off failures, ignore the pain of bruising defeat and charge back into the fight time after time only to see their dreams fall apart again. 

Here’s the quote:

“People who suffer from anxiety and depression are not weak…they have simply been strong for too long!”

For those who don’t understand what that means and are unsympathetic, let me retell the little pig story.  Because sometimes the most difficult part of the struggle is dealing with the annoying ‘help’ of others.  This is the story of a persistent pig, the impossible cookie jar and some unhelpful additional characters.

Persistent Pig & Unhelpful Friends

The persistent little pig tries and tries again to reach the jar of cookies sitting on top of the refrigerator.  But this time, after many failed attempts, another pig eventually arrives with their pig entourage in tow.

The newly arrived pig is tall and able to almost effortlessly reach the cookie jar.  The tall pig, also smells the cookies, takes one for themselves, shares some with their friends and then puts the jar back on the top the refrigerator.

The tall pig and friends, blessed with the fortune of the cookies, are oblivious to the little pig’s struggle and offer nothing besides the crumbs of their shared success.  So the little pig, incredulous and a bit exhausted but undeterred, continues to try to get a cookie. 

The other pigs critique the little pig’s effort.  One tells the little pig to “try harder” and another is there to remind them of how they are doing it wrong without offering any alternative plan.  The third pig taking a different angle contradicts “you’re too desperate.”  They whisper amongst themselves while the little pig struggles.

Eventually the tall pig, worried for the safety of everyone in the room, takes the little pig aside to offer some their philosophical wisdom.  They tell the frustrated pig “if you aren’t happy without the cookie you won’t be happy with it” and “the key is to accept this wisdom of the ages, and then the cookie jar will become yours…”

The little pig sputters in reply “bu…but why wouldn’t you just reach up and get a cookie for me?”  The tall pig, not understanding the question, scoffs at the protest “nobody helped me get a cookie” and adds “why do you think you are entitled to a cookie anyhow?” 

The other pigs content with full bellies dance and play.  However, little pig, after a few more attempts is now tired, still hungry and not in the mood to participate in the frivolous games.  The little pig sits too exhausted to move and too perplexed at the situation they’re stuck in to care about much else.

The tall pig, still concerned (but a bit indignant that the little pig would ignore such great advice) decides to try once again to reason.  The tall pig offers tartly “quit wallowing in your self-pity and make yourself useful to the rest of us pigs, then you might be happy…”  

The tall pig, realizing their ‘tough love’ should be balanced with kindness, apologizes for being “harsh” and reiterates how much he cares.  With that the walks away confidently knowing that they done the best they could and happy with their capacity to show true compassion.

So the confused little pig took a Xanax and forgot he was starving.  All of the pigs lived happily ever after, retired to become bacon, etc…

>THE END

Review Questions:

Which pig is the truly stronger pig?

Is it the tall pig who is successful, popular, happy and has great spiritual insights? 

Or is it the little pig who keeps trying despite the odds and refrained from kicking the tall pig in his arrogant piggy parts?

Faith: Persistence, Contentment or Both?

My Christian friends, especially the successful ones, are quick to remind those struggling that “godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6) They seem to forget that in context this is with the assumption that the basic needs of that person are being met. 

Furthermore, godliness does not absolve the successful of responsibility to meet the needs of their struggling brothers and sisters if they have excess to give.  Contentment with godliness is great gain, but contentment without Godly faith that helps those in need is spiritual blindness and failure.

Some Scriptural perspective of faith and responsibility to consider:

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (Luke 12:48b)

“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” (James 4:17)

In summary those who are of faith should help those in need, using the full extent of their abilities and it is sin to do less than what we know is good.  A person who has little and gives all is more faithful than a successful person who doesn’t give their best effort.

To illustrate faith Jesus told a story about a persistent widow in a parable (Luke 18:1-8) who pesters a judge day and night until she gets justice.  He laments the lack of faith that is like that of the annoying widow asking: “will he find faith on the earth?”

Sometimes loving like Jesus loved means making the good religious people more than a little uncomfortable.  Sometimes there is need for tables to be overturned and people to be chased with whips.  Jesus ruffled some feathers and those who follow his example will do the same.

Not all contentment is Godly, many seem to confuse their complacency with Godly contentment and miss an opportunity to do good.  But true faith is not content with the status quo when there’s something better to be done. 

That said, there is always that tension between faithful waiting and faithful effort, like what is captured in the Serenity Prayer below:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

So be both content and persistent.  Faith is not passive, faith is a pursuit and requires dedication, sacrifice, and effort.  Faith is content in that it trusts God will make all things right in the end.

If you get knocked down, overcome temporarily by fear, anxiety or depression, may God give you the faith to persist, to get back up on your feet and fight for those cookies.

A Community Perspective of Mass Murder

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Another well-armed angry young man goes on a murderous spree and again political ambulance chasers jockey to take advantage to win points for their pet projects.

President Obama used the recent massacre at an Oregon college as an opportunity to campaign for gun control measures that would not have prevented it.  Militant 2nd Amendment gun rights advocates responded with the tired ‘good guys with guns’ arguments and arming teachers as the solution.  Others ranted about correlations between pharmaceuticals and deranged minds.  (Well, duh?) 

Those using the issue for their various (political) causes seem to be vastly misunderstanding the actual issue.  Their response is a knee-jerk reaction rather than a careful analysis of fact and their canned solutions show the functional fixedness in their thinking.  There are too many assumptions that steer the current conversation and could be distracting us from addressing the real problem.

Many seem to assume that killers are simply incurable killers and we simply need to better secure ourselves (with more guns or gun control laws) against this inevitability of angry men.  But could a killer be stopped before they stockpile weapons and act out their violent fantasies against those who they blame for their unhappiness? 

Perhaps more guns, curbs of liberty and drugs (more or less) are not the solution to the real problem?

The root issue is that a young man made a choice to act violently.  He had reasons, rational or irrational, for the choice that should be understood.  (Note, I am not saying that the choice was justified, I believe murder is always immoral and a sin.)  We should acknowledge the choice as a choice and at least explore the possibility we can help those who are tempted by violence to choose rightly.

#1) Understand the Problem is a Person

I think often there is an urge to sanctimoniously distance ourselves from the bad actors of society.  Simply labelling the perpetrator of violence as a “thug” or “monster” or “animal” allows us to build emotional wall of separation between ourselves and evil deeds.  If we were to acknowledge the humanity of the person doing the evil act we would be tying our own humanity to the evil and in a sense making ourselves responsible.

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Fundamental attribution error or correspondence bias is an assumption that another person’s behavior is all a product of their defective character.  (And, again, I do absolutely believe in personal accountability and responsibility for choices.)  But then, what it comes to our own bad choices we always have an external excuse or justification and blame circumstance for our choices.

Killers do what we do.  Killers often feel justified in what they do like we do because they were cheated or mistreated.  They take out their jealous rage against those who they blame for their unhappiness.  It is actually their humanity, the fact that they have emotions or just desire for significance—like we all do—that they act.  The difference is that they choose to turn to acts of violence rather than grace.

The answer to the perceived offenses we endure is not hate or vengeance and love for our enemies needs to be encouraged.  We need to fight against our own urge to be consumed totally by securing our own rights and love others as we would like to be loved.  We should distance ourselves from using their evil choices to justify our own.  We must love the hurting person behind the choice before they make it.

#2) Recognizing that Social Needs are Real

The elephant in the room is the vast changes in American culture and lifestyle that correlate with the trend of mass murder.  We are linked with more and more technology, but are actually less connected (in flesh) than generations prior.  Community has been replaced with increasing individualism and isolation.  It is not a change without consequence.

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People are not good in isolation, people have social needs and can be damaged by lack of adequate human interaction.  Just a bit of research into solitary confinement or extreme cases of child neglect quickly show the psychological consequences are profound when social needs are not fully met for extended periods.

Perhaps the ideal of suburbia is not so ideal after all?  Suburban life is not extreme isolation.  But, in many cases, it is an environment deficient of social interaction—and especially in the case of single child homes.  A child without brothers or sisters and separated from regular intimate interaction with other people is probably going to feel a deficit.

The problem is exacerbated for those who are socially awkward or shy.  Some people are able to make friends everywhere, they are outgoing, easily put others at ease and popular.  Other people struggle getting past that initial barrier of first contact, they watch frustrated as others interact with ease and feel ignored.  Nobody wants to be marginalized.

We need to start recognizing that society and lifestyle do have a part to play in the choices of individuals.  We need fewer fenced in yards, fewer spiritually empty McMansions and more opportunity for inclusion for those who would otherwise be marginalized by their natural dispositions or disabilities.  We need less individualism and more community spirit.

#3 Bringing Outliers into our Community

There are some people who are probably gone beyond hope unreachable.  There are some who have a defect that makes them almost impossible to relate to and interact positively with. 

However, I do not believe that is the case in all cases or even most cases and we could do better at finding a place for those who need a place to belong.  There is no amount of entertainment or material wealth that can fill the void of purpose caused by social isolation.  We should not underestimate the role of community in shaping individual attitudes and mental health.

I see a solution in intentional community.  A friend recently posted a story about a preschool in a nursing home.  It was a beautiful example of the social needs of elderly being met by their inclusion with children.  That is the type of mindset that could be applied more broadly. 

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But intentional community doesn’t need to start with a collective managed structural change like melding elderly and child care.  It can start with how we as individuals interact with the outliers among us.  It starts with our being aware that there are those who are marginalized and suffering from social isolation.  If we look for it we can be a help.

It takes a change in perspective.  Perhaps the weirdo is weird only because they have no friends to help them assimilate?  Are you willing to be that weird person’s friend and bring them into your circle of friends?  Forget mass killers even, what if we could prevent one suicide by being more proactive and inclusive?  What if we could make one person’s day better?

#4 Know the Individual Power You Wield

I believe many of us underestimate our own influence.  We turn to solutions like guns and laws because we feel too small to fight the demons of our culture without them.  We look for ‘silver bullet’ solutions (pardon the expression) and forget that people are complex social creatures.  One-size-fits-all solutions are not the best answer.

We need to fight back against evil, but not with superior firepower which is often misused or increased enablement of governments that often ends in abuse.  We need to overcome evil with good.  We need to fight isolation with inclusion, beat social awkwardness with understanding and prevent the seeds that lead to violence from ever taking root.

It takes a community of willing individuals to solve community problems.  Violence against the community is intended as an attack on the community and must therefore be addressed as a community.  But the community is not those we elect to represent us, the community is us and the problems of community require us as individuals to take part in being the solution.

Stop looking side to side or over your shoulder waiting for someone else to save society from its own destruction.  Instead use your own unique talents and abilities, search out the needs in your own community and fill them.  As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and maybe even just a hug or smile can make a life changing difference.

#5 The Example of a Social Physician

Jesus was an advocate for unpopular people.  The religious people of his day criticized him for what they perceived as his lack of judgment for his inappropriate mingling with women and men who they saw as inferior.  Jesus turned the tables, he condemned the socially powerful and popular, he spoke for those marginalized by society.

There are many Gospel accounts like this…

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples.  When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”  On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”  (Matthew 9:10-13)

We don’t like the IRS today, but tax collectors in Jesus day were traitors who had sided with the Roman occupation of Palestine and were hated by the Jews.  In the eyes of his accusers he was guilty by association.  How could a great man find company with traitors, prostitutes and other sinners?  But what is greatness without mercy to those who need it most? 

Jesus was greater because he was merciful to all people, even the least of society and we should follow the lead he offers.  We should be doctors of social ailments.  We do not excuse or offer justification for sin anymore than a doctor is an advocate for disease.  No, we, like a doctor, need to diagnose the true problem and provide the right cure.

We can exercise the same power to heal as Jesus did.  We have a choice to create a better society.  We can choose to respond to problems with love and not fear.  We need to be the solution in the same way as Jesus, by overcoming prejudice through self-sacrificial love and love for the enemies we face every day.

God bless.  Be strong.  Be a solution not a spectator.