My boss and I generally get along well. He has his preferences, I have my own preferences and usually we are able to find an agreement. But occasionally there are times of conflict as well.
Most of the conflicts are caused by abuse of exceptions. Exceptions are those times when my usual ‘rules’ are stretched to allow something I otherwise do not tolerate. Surprises, working weekends or working too late on a Friday are some of my understood (but unwritten) terms.
It is reasonable in the industry I am in that some flexibility is required. Delays often arise that are no fault of my employer and are the surprises I must tolerate to be reasonable. Then there are favors or the times I am flexible just because my boss is my friend and I want a good relationship. I will sometimes break my rules voluntarily as a matter of good will.
However, there seems to be a limit to how many exceptions can be made before the exceptions begin to become the rule. If I do too many favors soon they become expected entitlements rather than appreciated exceptions.
When I feel the balance of our mutual self-interests has been violated too far I will respond with protests. I suppose if my boss would not respond appropriately there would be further reaching consequences.
Broader Application and Implications
Individuals make arrangements between themselves my boss and I do. Groups of people also make arrangements with their individual parts that allow exceptions to the general rules for representatives of the group or to benefit exceptions within the group.
For example, there is an expectation that if one wants to eat they should work, but we do make exceptions for children and the disabled. But that list of beneficiaries can eventually grow to include irresponsible adults and those less truly disabled. It can also morph from being a special exception into an entitlement that is eventually is unfair to those paying the cost and abuse.
If the group never considers the needs of exceptions that is also a failure and negligence. It may not be at a noticeable cost to the group right away when the weak and minorities are unprotected or considered only an afterthought, but there is a cost even if it isn’t measured in financial losses. Lack of compassion is a moral loss.
Keeping a Balance of All Factors
This complex mobile of competing interests must constantly be fine tuned to maintain an appropriate balance. Part of balance is order of priority. It is recommended in an airliner cabin depressurization emergency that adults put their own masks on first so they aren’t incapacitated and unable to help others.
Rules must always define the exceptions in the same way the gravity that defines the order of a mobile must be respected or chaos will be the result. The picture of the Liebherr crane mobile above (watch this video) is a prime example. It is an exceptional display of engineering and some flexibility in weight bearing capacity, yet there are underlying rules that must be followed or the whole system will collapse.
The results of miscalculation, ignoring factors that influence stability and over stressing various structures (social, physical or otherwise) can result in catastrophic failures. Failure like that of “Big Blue” which fell into a tangled heap on a gusty day:
Prevent disasters by finding a balance that puts rules and exceptions in proper order and plans for the winds of life.