Authorship

The Offending Potato Salad

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I went to a little BBQ restaurant for dinner.  They have excellent ribs and the baked beans weren’t too bad either.

This time they had a new menu item on the menu called “potato salad” and I imagined that could taste pretty good.  So I added that.  I confidently ordered the larger of two container sizes too.

I had polished off the ribs and beans.  Now it was time to try the much anticipated new item.

The verdict…

Well, to my palate it was awful.  I took a bite and decided I would not take another.  It was cheesy, that’s not what I had in mind when I ordered “potato salad…”

So I strode up to the cashier to pay for the meal.  Then, while my card was being swiped, the cook turned and asked, “so how did you like that potato salad?”

What do you say to the smiling creator of something you just got done categorizing as a potential vomit inducer?

Put on the spot, I strung together a series of words, “it definitely had its own unique taste,” and seemed to avoid offending him with my brutal honesty. 

He went on to proudly described his creation like a dad speaking of a beloved child.

Why not just tell him it was awful? 

I mean, when someone asks for feedback they are opening themselves up to a negative opinion, right?

Was it that I sensed he was looking for my approval and I didn’t want to disappoint him? 

Would actual honesty, like “awful” or “vomit inducing,” come off too strong in that situation?

I did not have time to think out a response.  So I defaulted to saying something that sounded nice, that kept him smiling and would allow me to leave in peace.

I carried the potato salad with me until I was a safe distance down the sidewalk.  I disposed of the offending substance in a garbage can.  Then looking back to make sure nobody saw me do it.

My take away…

Flame wars may erupt amid internet anonymity.  People might even be brutally honest when angry, annoyed or upset enough.  But politeness reigns supreme otherwise.

Be careful not to take seemingly positive feedback as the whole story.  Sometimes nobody wants to be the first to break it to the emperor that he ain’t wearing any clothes.

It is nice to dwell on the good.  I think it is considerate to not want to hurt feelings.  Yet, sometimes it is the best friend who tells you unapologetically that the potato salad is plain bad.

Or it could just be that I don’t know potato salad…

Disturbing the Status Quo: “And who is my neighbor?”

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The one thing I did not cover in my recent post on the Good Samaritan story (and came up in a discussion with a friend afterwards) is that Jesus never did answer the question of who.  The man asked who his neighbor was, but Jesus answered the question of how to be a good neighbor and told him to “go and do likewise.”

Not my neighbor, not my problem…

I was reminded of that again when discussing my frustration with social media.  I’ve noticed how cute pictures and funny stories get dozens of likes or shares.   However, when I posted a link to a woman with a real need and asked people who couldn’t give to like or share it the response was astonishing.  It was zilch, nada, nothing…

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I was lamenting that lack of response to another friend.  They defended it saying that people get many requests for help and that I could sympathize with.  But what was said next disturbed me coming from a person familiar with the story Jesus told about how to be a good neighbor.  They suggested the “Biblical method” is that this woman’s family or local church should provide.

“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  (Matthew 5:46-48 NIV)

That doesn’t seem like the ethic Jesus was describing.  I don’t think the Samaritan cared much about jurisdiction or if it was his turn to give.  I believe he saw a need, saw a person who needed help and simply gave it.  That’s what it means to love your neighbor.  That’s the example Jesus told the legal expert to follow.

On the other hand, I assume those men who passed by the battered man along the road were in good standing in their own communities, provided for their own families and gave tithe.  But doesn’t everyone do that?  We take care of our own because it is natural to do so, it is reciprocal altruism and a way to ensure our own survive. 

Loving beyond the tribe of race, gender or denomination…

Yet Jesus was describing something far more radical.  Jesus went as far as to tell his followers to hate their own families (Luke 14:26) and give all they had to the needy.  This goes beyond the normal religious obligation of his day.  This goes beyond defending our own biological progeny.  It is a love bigger than nation, denomination and tribe.

Jesus preached (and those who continued to carry his message) against tribalism.  They forsook their own wealth and families to preach a revolutionary message about a kingdom made up of all tribes and nations.  They spoke of a kingdom where allegiances didn’t fall around race, gender or economic status.  A kingdom of good neighbors.

Disturbed by visions too superficial, self-interested and small…

“Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.”
(Francis Drake)

Anyhow, it does disturb me when social media prefers a political cause (showers attention both for and against a pizza shop owner caught in an artificial controversy) and then ignores a real need.  Our priorities are messed up when we are more concerned with scoring political points and fighting culture wars.

It disturbs me when millions will be poured into political campaigns rather than used to meet real needs. Frankly, if you conservatives don’t think we need socialized medicine or if you liberals truly have a heart of compassion, then prove it with more than talk.  Help somebody you can help rather than wait for others to take the lead for you.

It disturbs me when churches spend thousands on missions of questionable value to give young people an experience.  If you are truly zealous and motivated by love (not self-interested like a kid on spring break trip justified by a thin veneer of religion) then be a good neighbor.

It disturbs me when our love is superficial.  Our love is only superficial when we like cute pictures, comment on funny stories, advocate for political ideologies, seek donations so we can go on an adventure around the world and then aren’t disturbed by unfilled needs well within our reach.

As it stands, the account for this nurse and young mother with severe neck issues stands at $360 and only a fraction of the need.  Does that disturb you?

Christian Humanism: An Oxymoron?

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Humanism, the idea that people are capable of bettering themselves or society through effort, has in modern times become a term monopolized by secularists.  That is probably why the words “evangelical humanism” jumped out to me when used to describe Menno Simons.

What does humanism have in common with a leader in centuries ago Christian movement?

Today many Christians (including those claiming “Menno” as their namesake) seem to have a terrible fatalistic streak.  There are token forms of ‘outreach’ that appear only marginally interested in creating real lasting solutions to practical problems.  There is also no shortage of negativity about the world and cynicism about our ability to change it.  It could seem resignation to the current state of affairs is even view as the epitome of faith.

Dreams Beyond the Status Quo

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their own dreams.”  (Eleanor Roosevelt)

It was that quote of the illustrious first lady on a motivational poster that stirred my thoughts again.  What it describes could be both humanistic and evangelical faith.  Secular humanism is motivated by doing good for the sake of good, while religious faith is supposed to be about doing good for the sake of God.  Both are concerned with humanity and aim for a better future.

The difference could be that the religious are too often less practical in aim than their secular counterparts and this could be because the promises of eternity deadens the urge to be an agent of change in the world today.  The secular humanist, on the other hand, is committed to practical change today and attempts to deliver more than just promises of future paradise.

Knocking at doors at 7:30 am to tell people about Jesus might have a ring of faithfulness to it.  However, unless you show up with coffee and an egg sandwich to give, you probably just created another annoyance—a door slammed in your face might be your just reward.  It could be you are getting the cart ahead of the horse.

Eternity Can Wait, Love Practically Today

Without practical love Christianity loses the strongest evangelical tool that it has.  Jesus was extremely practical.  Jesus was so practical that many of those following him thought he would lead a revolt against Rome.  He did practical things like provide beverage for a wedding, healing sick people and feeding thousands.  He promised a kingdom soon at hand that would change practically everything:

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near…”  (Matthew 4:17 NIV)

The “kingdom of heaven” isn’t just some future ‘pie in the sky‘ ideal.  No, it is something that must be lived out practically today.  And, not as a purely informational campaign or token help either.  Christianity should be about making heaven a literal reality for as many people as we can today and in as many ways as humanly possible.  When we have faith and pray as Jesus did, this is not just wishful thinking:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”  (Matthew 6:9-13 NIV)

We act on what we believe is possible.  We should not wait to free ourselves from temptation, we should not hesitate to forgive others if we want to be forgiven and we certainly cannot expect bread to come to us without our own effort.  So why do we assume ourselves powerless to bring to “earth as it is in heaven” and instead practice fatalism as if it is faith? 

We would be much more convincing if we put our money where our mouth is and gave people a taste of heaven rather than give them hell.

Humanist and Christian Hypocrisy

Ironically secular humanism often breaks down the same way religions do, in that adherents become less practically oriented and more ideological only and lazy.  People look to institutions and charismatic leaders to show the way rather than do their part by fully living their ideals.

This is how Al Gore ends up in a sprawling mansion while preaching climate change dogma.  This is how Christians preach Christ Jesus and leave many sharing the same sentiments of Joe Hill or of the quote below:

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”  (Mahatma Ghandi)

If you want to convince others of your dreams or ideals start first by living them and if you are Christian especially.  If your faith does nothing for real human needs, and is only about future rewards and glory, then it is just theory.  Being like Jesus requires you to change the world for good with the talents you are given.

Be a Human Example of Good

Don’t ask anyone (including God) to do anything on your behalf.  Leadership is not pointing out how others are doing wrong.  Leadership is being an example and laying down our own life for sake of love for humanity and God.  Be a leader for Christ’s sake.

Don’t wait on conditions to improve before acting; act to improve the conditions.  Be an evangelical humanist.  Endeavor to do what is impossible by acting in faith in a power greater and beyond your own comprehending. Bring heaven to earth today.

Christian humanism might or might not be an oxymoron, but faith without practically applied love for humanity is certainly an oxymoron.

Dream big, be practical.

Elusive Inconclusive Thoughts

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I’m full of thoughts today. 

I begin to write them, but I only get so far trying to tether them to word before they float away and then I’m on to trying to nail the next one down.

Up above my head is a canopy of these balloons of topics.  The first of the day fading from sight, some with strings just escaped my fingers tips moments ago, and many in between as clumped together dots of varied color.

I started on theoretical physics.  With that was a thought about coincidence, a thought about fortune and the quote “there but by the grace of God go I.”  I found parallels to theology and scientific theory.  I considered the evidence of extra-dimensionality of the universe and the multi-verse theories as similar to concepts of spiritual reality.  I wanted to explain that science explains how and philosophy answers why.  I got started.

My mind drifted…

My thoughts later turned to cycles and equilibrium.  The need for both.  I listed examples from nature.  I wrote about the rise and fall of civilizations.  I had an idea about the interplay of people and history.  About the way living radical faith is eventually crowded out by dead religious tradition.  I pondered three different responses of reaction, reformation or reflection and denial.

This too escaped…

Perhaps these balloons will come floating back down to where I can grab them and anchor them to explanation.  But for now they remain abstractions not ready for words.  Themselves the topic for their stubborn inaccessible. 

I will let them play among the clouds for today, but eventually they must come down and earn their keep!

A Mother’s Response: Forgiveness or Vengeance?

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Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has been tried and found guilty of playing a role in the deadly Boston Marathon bombings. I have not studied the evidence against him, but a jury has decided that the evidence implicates him as being guilty of all charges and he awaits sentencing.

His mother, interviewed on WhatsApp, unleashed a tirade in response. She refuses to believe her son is guilty of anything, she alleges conspiracy and promises vengeance. If there’s truth to the saying about the apple not falling far from the tree, then one could wonder if her son wasn’t just following after her example.

An innocent man killed and forgiveness offered

Walter Scott was gunned down while trying to flee from a police officer. Clearly the use of deadly force was unwarranted and the officer who pulled the trigger has been charged with murder. It is a tragedy for two families and a grave injustice to one.

Scott’s mother has ever reason to be upset. Her son (besides being back on his child support) was innocent, had no trial, and was shot in the back. However, in a CNN interview, while clearly heartbroken, she would not take her interviewer’s bait and offered forgiveness.

Which mother more closely represents you?

The contrast is amazing. One is a picture of beauty and grace; a real taste of heaven on earth. The other seems to be painting a path that can only lead to indiscriminate violence and more destruction. One is a solution to the cycle of violence and a way to peace, but the other is fuel for hellfire.

The world will not be made better by those who take vengeance themselves. I hope more choose the way of forgiveness of even a terrible injustice. Choose love over hate.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends…” (Romans 12:9a)

Sharia Law: I read it on the internet…, part 3

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I have quite a number of friends who like or repost stories with shouting headlines and containing claims apparently designed to feed fears.  What amounts to fear-mongering propaganda is wrapped in the trappings of legitimate “conservative” news sources.  Unfortunately, most of it, while at some level based in a true story, is so badly blown out of proportion and hyperbolic that it is a dishonest representation.

Now, these purveyors of hysterics and half-truths may or may not be intentionally distorting the reality.  But I suspect there could be a bit of an ‘ends justify the means’ mentality and an idea that their twisted versions of a story represent a greater truth or reality.  I think every journalist does pick and choose what facts are relevant and how they present a story does reveal their personal bias.  However, to me,  there is a level of this that is unintentional or within reason and a level that is inexcusable.

Woman Has Opinion; Sparks Controversy

One of these specters repeatedly raised is that of Sharia law and the suggestion it will be imposed on Americans.  A particular story about a sign advertising bacon in a Vermont town caught my eye today after a friend commented.  Here is the screenshot of my news feed:

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As one could imagine, the response in comments was one of the outrage of thousands of freedom (and bacon) loving Americans who don’t want religion imposed on them.  I realize there is reason to be aware of religious extremism, but what is the reason for this particular furor and do the actual facts support such a dramatic response?  According to the conservativetribune.com story this is the issue:

“Should a restaurant that serves bacon be allowed to display signs and/or advertisements that mention bacon? The U.S. Constitution says that it should, but Muslims in Vermont apparently disagree.”

From that opening paragraph one could assume there is a direct threat to freedom of speech posed by a group of people.  The article goes on to discuss a solitary example of a business owner who took down a sign because “an outraged Muslim woman” complained about it.  There are no further examples given and no evidence that this woman speaks for a plurality of Muslims.

The complaint of one woman does not seem to match the “Muslims in Vermont” description above it and that is quite an over-statement.  What’s the problem?  Well, if one woman can speak for “Muslims in Vermont,” then I suppose Westboro Baptist speaks for Christians in Kansas, right?

Concern for Safety or Fear of Violence?

Anyhow, there’s an article on the Washington Post website that takes a more detailed look and provides the full text of the woman’s complaint.  She describes herself as “a vegan and a member of a Muslim household” then goes on to say the sign is both insensitive to those who don’t eat pork and this:

“Second, it clutters an already dangerous crosswalk. This signage for a business’ food distracts from the purpose of that area: for pedestrians to safely cross and for drivers to safely enter the circle. What is the additive safety factor of this sign being there? I fail to see what benefit it affords people in that intersection and why the city put it up. The only appropriate signage would be standardized official road signs pertaining to the crosswalk and circle.”

I would guess that is why the restaurant owner mentions safety in his response.  However that apparently isn’t as obvious to everyone as it seems to me and leads to this speculation in the conservativetribune.com article about the owners response:

“Notice how he mentioned “safety” concerns. This made it sound as if he feared the Muslims in Winooski would have taken violent action had he not removed the sign”

I cannot fathom how one could make that leap based in the known facts.  It doesn’t “make it sound” as if he feared violence from Muslims to me.  No, it makes it sound as if the restaurant owner read the woman’s letter and was responding to the excerpt of her letter I posted above.  The concern for safety she mentioned was having a business sign creating a distraction.

Right to Free Speech and Threats Thereof

So basically we have a woman with an opinion and a business owner willing to accommodate her preferences.  It hardly seems like a crisis of Constitutional freedom when a woman exercises that her right to express a controversial opinion.  But it does seem a case of journalistic malpractice to make one woman into a representative of Muslims or categorize her as an “acolyte of Shariah law” because she expressed a concern. 

The real threat to liberty is those who abuse it.  I am more concerned over reckless surmises and the feeding of irrational fears than I am of one woman exercising her freedom of speech.  Her opinion, while I disagreed with it, was reasonably explained and it is her right to express it.  The response was a distortion at best, slanderous at worse and one of many similar stories.

Unfortunately I cannot respond to every internet hoax or propaganda piece and even if I did the chances of my words reaching through the mess and changing minds already made up seems slim.  Still I do try to make a difference.

When the time for pragmatism has passed…

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Conventional wisdom is usually your best bet in many circumstances.  But there are times when following regular protocol and procedure is not a good option.  Following the rules can ensure failure in some cases.

What I have in mind is a story from the waning moments of the Vietnam war and an amazing last ditch effort. 

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In a desperate bid to escape a Vietnamese pilot commandeered a Chinook helicopter, loaded up his family and headed out to sea.  Short on fuel they found the USS Kirk. 

Unfortunately, the large twin rotor helicopter was too big to land on the ship, but undeterred they hovered over the deck and dropped children into the waiting arms of sailors. 

The copilot bailed, but the pilot had to find a way to ditch in the ocean and survive.  So he lowered the aircraft, tilted it one way and jumped the other.  His strategy worked.  The pilot survived the crash unscathed and was rescued.

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Following the rules would not have produced the desired results in those circumstances.  Determination, not losing hope despite obstacles and creative effort were the keys to success.

Sometimes winning requires wrecking a few helicopters.

First Grade School Daze

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It has been awhile since I’ve needed to wait for that big yellow bus in the morning…

Ava's avatarFresh Brewed Thoughts

School days began with a pancake and fried egg sandwich glued together with King syrup. We’d grab our dimes (Mom and Dad bought rolls of them at a time) from the lunch money drawer and head out the lane and across the wooden railroad bridge to wait with the neighbor kids for the big yellow school bus. Our stop was the last on the route; kids slid over to make room for a third person on the seats. Our bus pulled into a long line of yellow buses waiting to drop off the high school kids. The tall red brick elementary school was just around the corner. We climbed steep cement steps to wait in the noisy gym for the first bell to ring. Preoccupied teachers walked through clusters of students, making their way to their classrooms to prepare for the onslaught of the day. Energetic girls and boisterous boys…

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7 Ways To Show Love To Someone With Anxiety/Depression

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Good advice, even generally speaking…

amylynnrand's avatarBe Brave, and Talk

The hardest people to love are the ones who need it most.

In honour of Valentine’s Day, here are some ideas for showing love to friends and family members with anxiety/ depression:

1.) Give Compliments:

Chances are, someone who suffers from anxiety/depression also struggles with self esteem. Help her challenge her feelings of self loathing by giving her sincere, specific compliments. Being specific is really important, because it will make her more likely to remember what you said later. It will also make her more likely to believe you. For example, instead of saying, “You’re a good mom,” you could say something more meaningful: “You are so patient with your children. I love how you encourage them to keep trying. They are so lucky to have you.”
One thoughtful, genuine compliment has more power than 10 careless comments that feel like flattery. Put your heart into what you say.

2.)…

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On a Greyhound bus to Compton…

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Some of the best times are those adventures most unplanned. Like the time—fresh out of high school—I was a last minute stowaway on trip that took me across the country and to the west coast.

A friend was to be married in Arizona.  He, with the groomsmen, decided to borrow a small motorhome to make the trek together and I was invited to tag along.  It was pretty much a bachelor party on wheels and a great adventure.

We started in Pennsylvania and drove in shifts.  We probably weren’t more than a hundred miles down the road before we blew a radiator hose.  The motorhome was a relic, an old Ford Econoline with a thirsty V8 gasser, clunky automatic transmission and a not so high gear ratio. 
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Still, as I recall, the old beast would do eighty miles an hour.  We were on one of those long flat stretches of the Midwest when I took the helm.  I was trying to make time holding er flat.  Well, I must’ve been pushing a bit too hard on the accelerator, because eventually when I went for the exit and the thing would not slow down as expected.  As it turns out, the gas pedal was stuck to the floor and luckily we figured it out without any major mishap.  But, I think that might be the last time they let me drive.

We arrived in Arizona with plenty of time to spare before the nuptials, so the idea was that us easterners would get a look at the Pacific ocean while we were that far along.  The initial plan was to go to San Diego and then swing north up the coast to Los Angeles where a school friend of mine had relocated.  However, fearful for their lives, that plan was vetoed somewhere along the way and I still wanted to visit my friend in LA.

What ended up as the solution was me being dropped off at a Greyhound station.

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I rode the bus into Compton. 

Everything I knew of that city was derived from Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Tupac and California Love.  That wasn’t of much comfort to a relatively sheltered teenager from rural PA.  But, I managed not to get mugged, stabbed or shot, and was soon cruising with my friend in his Mitsubishi Eclipse. 

It was fun, just hanging out, enjoying the sights and the sun.  I stayed overnight.  Then was on the bus again, this time to Arizona and to be reunited with the rest of the group.

After a Phoenix Suns game, a trip to the Grand Canyon and the wedding that was the purpose of the trip, we were back on the road headed east in a slightly more smelly van camper. 

The miles went fast, yet the trip was one of those cool experiences not soon forgotten and I have not been on a Grayhound bus since.